Waiting

“Waiting on God isn’t about the suspension of meaning and purpose. Waiting is an essential part of the plan. For the child of God, waiting isn’t simply about what I’ll receive at the end of my wait. No, waiting is much more purposeful, efficient and practical than that. Waiting is fundamentally about what I’ll become as I wait. Through the wait He’s changing me, causing me to see and experience new things about Him and His kingdom.” - Paul Tripp

Say Cheese

My Little Guys

This picture makes me smile. First of all, because I love any and all pictures of my two little guys together. Secondly, because Ian is resting his arm on one of the bears we sent down for the boys. It has our family picture and supposedly they sleep with them every night. And thirdly, because Alec once again got his hand on both his snack and his brother's, and is quite proud of himself as you can see! I miss them.

See?

Picture proof for my last post ...

12 months ago

6 months ago

Comfort

Both of my boys soothe themselves by sucking their fingers when they are tired or anxious. Alec likes his index and middle fingers together, while Ian like to crook his index finger and suck on it that way. If I look back at old pictures I can find them in these exact same poses six months ago, and even a year ago. It may be hard habit to break someday, but for now I am glad they find comfort in this simple way!

Feeding Time

I love this picture.

Mom is feeding Alec, I am feeding Ian, Justin is feeding Sarah, Valdex is feeding Sophonise, and Lacey's got Gracie and Bella. Katyna is managing on her own, and if I'm not mistaken there may have been one or two other children eating on their own. Also, there are at least three babies not pictured (Charlene, Mario, and Maki) so you can just imagine how crazy mealtime can be in Lawanna's apartment!

Crazy, but beautiful. These children are blessed: they are bathed at least once (sometimes twice) a day; fed three home-cooked meals a day; their home is kept swept and clean; and they are surrounded by people who truly care for them and about them.

That is why I love this picture. That is why I am very thankful.

Story's "Story"

In a beautiful post entitled "Bragging on My Sovereign God," Aaron Ivey shares details of just how God has moved and provided and perfectly orchestrated the timing and details of his daughter Story's homecoming from Haiti.

It encouraged and convicted me to read this, because as I mentioned previously the news of Story's illness so discouraged me ... yet God knew that she would become seriously ill with viral meningitis, and He allowed her papers to come through at just the exact time that she needed the special care she was unable to receive in Haiti.

I pray that I will be able to trust that my boys' paperwork, too, will come through at just the exact time He deems best. I pray that it will be soon! and yet I pray that my heart will rest in this same sovereign God and in his perfect timing.

Adoption, Attachment, Bonding, Baby Wearing, Baby Carriers, and Russia, Russian Adoption

I have titled my post as such in hopes that it might attract attention from some been-there, done-that parents of adopted children. The purpose of this post is two-fold: to request information for me, and for a friend. Any appropriate insights and advice will be much appreciated!

Me: I would like to have the option of "wearing" or carrying my boys when they come home. I don't know how often I will do this because from what I read, much of it depends on their individual temperaments and bonding needs. Either way, I would like to have the option but the only baby carrier I've ever used is a Snugli and it wasn't the most comfortable for me. I need to have my hands free and I want it to feel as natural as possible, so I am thinking along the lines of a sling that allows a toddler to "sit" on my hip more or less. I should, however, point out that I am not the most coordinated person in the world and need this baby carrier to be very user-friendly! (I know, I'm not asking much, am I?) At any rate, if you could offer me some pointers - remembering that my boys will be toddlers, not infants - I will thank you from the bottom of my heart. :)

My friend: My very dear friend adopted siblings from Russia at ages 2 (daughter) and 3 (son) years old. They are now 7 (daughter) and 8 (son) years old. They are struggling with their daughter, who frequently lashes out in anger and expresses that she thinks her life would be better back in Russia, etc. etc. I offered to mention this on here in hopes that someone with experience and insight regarding this issue would be willing to communicate with my friend via e-mail. If so, please leave me a comment with your e-mail (I will not post the comment if you prefer to keep your e-mail private.) Thank you in advance for your encouragement and help in this way!

Ian & "Isaac"

Prior to my April trip, I introduced someone special on this blog: Schneider, Ian's biological brother. His adoption is also still in process and he has a family anxiously waiting for him in Indiana. It has been a treat to see him on my two visits to the orphanage, and each time he seems to grow more outgoing and definitely makes his opinions known! Schneider's new name will be Isaac, which I love. On this trip I tried to get a good picture of Ian and Isaac together, but Ian was not really in the mood. I really like the perspective in this photo even though it's not "perfect." Two precious little boys, and GOD is working out His sovereign plan in each of their lives.

Can't Stay Away

Apparently I can't stay away after all. We had a family friend arrive yesterday and after sharing my stories from Haiti out loud I find myself here again. There are a few stories that didn't make my journal or the blog that I'd still like to write about ... and a few more pictures of my boys that I'd still like to show you - like this one of Alec. I mean, seriously, isn't he the most handsome boy ever??

FYI: MOI

A week ago, we were told that MOI had promised to have our files processed by this past Monday. I have been trying to find out if anything happened this week and learned today that apparently no files were received. I know many of you are waiting and wondering with us about this, so just wanted to give a quick update. Thank you for praying.

Story Ivey Is Home

Praise the Lord, Story is home! Click on the link below to see pictures of Story's homecoming:

http://blog.imagopix.com/2009/10/24/story-ivey-is-home/

Jamie and Story headed to the ER after they arrived and Story has undergone multiple testing including a cat scan and a spinal tap. They are still waiting for results. You can read Jamie's updates via Twitter at:

http://twitter.com/jamie_ivey

Update on Story

Just wanted to share a quick update on Story so you can continue to pray - this is from Jamie's FB status. For those who may not know, Story is almost two years old.

just talked to jamie - she & story are both at the PAP airport, ready to board their plane - please be praying for story as she's VERY lethargic, just sits & holds her head & won't put any weight on her legs at all, so jamie's got to carry her the entire way - she has a baby carrier that she wears, but even that, with 'dead weight', makes it extremely heavy - she said story's sleeping A LOT & it's really concerning her at this point - she's considering going straight to the ER tonight when she arrives home & having a DR look at story - she's calling me when she gets to miami, so i'll post then - thanks for the prayers!

Taking a Break

Edited to add: After reading this post, I received the following note from a friend. I wanted to share it because I think it is so true. Thank you for your continued prayers.

Steph, I just finished reading your blog update. It came to mind
that the difficulty of adoptions in Haiti, as well as the
illness and emotional and spiritual confusion,may very well be
due to spiritual oppression there. I pray that God will act
mightily on behalf of your boys and Story Ivey to free them
from the oppression and set them in permanent families who will
help draw them to Himself. I'm sure the enemy of our souls is
not excited about these adoptions, so we must stand against him.
______________

Now that most of the contents of my Haiti journal have been spilled out onto this blog, I find myself at a loss for words and most of all struggling with the many emotions that always follow a visit to our boys.

To be honest, finding out that Story Ivey was so sick today almost put me over the edge. I was in tears as I questioned why nothing can be easy in the context of Haitian adoptions. Going to pick up your child should be a happy time, not a time of finding out that she is so very ill. Sometimes it feels like the hits just keep coming.

In the midst of feeling utterly overwhelmed and short on the patience and love that my other family members deserve, I realized that I need to take another break from this blog. I have heard nothing yet as to our MOI status but know that our coordinator knows that we are waiting for word; when she hears something, we'll heard something. Until then I need to step away from reading and writing (and obsessing) and spend some time being renewed quietly in God's presence. Prior to going on my trip I felt His presence very closely and actively in my heart and I want to return to that place in our relationship. To be honest, it was hard to hear Him amidst the emotions and challenges of being in Haiti and I need to be still and listen for His voice once again.

Thank you so much for the love and support so many of you have expressed towards our family. It truly means a lot to know that not only are we not alone, but we and our boys are loved and prayed for by so many - even people we have never met. God bless each of you.

Pray for Story!

Update: Earlier this afternoon, Jamie posted that she had received another call stating that Story was doing much better after receiving an IV treatment. She asks everyone to keep praying! Her husband Aaron is also updating via his Twitter at http://twitter.com/aaronivey

Jamie Ivey traveled back to Haiti today to pick up her daughter Story. They are scheduled to return home tomorrow night; however, Jamie just posted on her Facebook status that Story is very sick. Please pray for supernatural healing for Story and for peace for Jamie at this time.

All About Alec - October 2009

At 18 months, Alec is finally walking on his chubby little legs, albeit he's somewhat wobbly (especially with shoes.) But when he does fall, it's usually backwards on his diapered tooshie so he doesn't sweat it too much.

The truth is that there's not too much he "sweats" except not getting fed (often and quickly) and some separation anxiety. For the most part he is fun-loving and cheerful. He is playful and loves to get a reaction from people, especially his brother. He has the greatest giggle, loves to be tickled and teased, and laughs at himself when he thinks he's gotten away with something!

Alec is a "bruiser," no doubt about it, and uses his extra bulk to his advantage when he wants his own way. I've seen him shove other kids, roll over on them, pull toys away and unfortunately on multiple occasions I've caught him biting - hard. (According to Lawanna, the biting seems to have started at the creche ... I think to him it's a big game sometimes.)

One of my favorite things about Alec is that beside being a big "bruiser" he is also a sweet snuggler. He loves to be held. I'm so glad at least one of my babies hasn't outgrown that yet! On this trip, Alec really took to his grandma and spent lots of time snuggling with her. I think she liked it, too. :)

Both boys like music and we've sung with them a lot on this trip, especially when we've needed to calm them (and sometimes ourselves) down. But Alec seems to have an ear for music and I've often caught him humming or singing softly to himself. It is sweet.

All About Ian - October 2009

At 22 months old, Ian is a pistol, a bundle of energy all day long. He is too busy to be bothered with much in the way of holding and snuggling, although one night he let me hold him and rock him at length after his brother was sound asleep. He will also occasionally stop his running to climb up on my lap for just a second or to lay his head on my knee for a brief while.

For the most part, Ian is gentle and easygoing. He takes seriously his role of being the oldest in Lawanna's apartment. When one of the babies cries, he often gets a worried frown on his brow and tries to find a toy or something to soothe him/her. The sweetest thing I saw him do was with BNB one night. Ian had been resting against my legs when BNB started crying and Ian went over to him, tapped him, then came over and pointed to his spot against me as if to say "come over here, my mommy can make it all better." He did this several times and it was so precious.

Ian also knows his own mind, however, and definitely tested his limits of obedience with me. Most of the time he did not obey what I told him to do or not to do, although I am certain he understood. When I would act on what I was telling him he would often pitch a fit, throwing his body around with high-pitched squealing before finally going limp on the floor with his thumb in his mouth.

He can get really mad and a case in point was today when I stepped aside from feeding him for just a minute (to get a towel for his brother's mess) and Ian got so angry he threw himself around in the highchair and screamed when I tried to feed him again, refusing to eat for me. Lawanna had to feed him and he ate just fine for her!

But what I love about Ian is his infectious smile, his happy heart and sense of humor and adventure. I just cannot wait to see him with his brothers and sisters at home! Because Alec knows just how to push his buttons - and Ian squeals so loudly as to make it amusing for Alec to just keep torturing him - the two of them in some ways don't really play great together. But Ian loves to be around older kids ... so I have an idea he is going to love Eva and Isabel and have lots of fun getting into their "stuff!" Both Ian and Alec love male attention, so they are also going to love Daddy and big brother Owen.

Journal Entry: Tuesday, October 13, 2009 (continued)

(Tuesday morning) ... We picked Mirlande up at the creche and then, crowded with our bags into the pickup truck in early morning rush hour traffic, we jostled our way on rutted back roads to the airport to leave Mom. I didn't even get a chance to get out of the car for a proper goodbye but hugged her and thanked her and saw her safely in line as we drove off.

Lucian and Justin with the hardworking pickup truck

Next we went to the US consulate where we met two Haitian nuns with two young sisters who had a visa appointment for their adoption. I spent the next couple of hours waiting as Barbara took turns going to the window and going through the necessary steps (pictures, fingerprints, etc.) - even at one time "working" one window while Mirlande did the other! Meanwhile, Troy Livesay arrived bringing Jamie Ivey from the airport (her flight had been cancelled the day before) with paperwork verifying her prints were up to date for Story's paperwork, which is just waiting for visa.

After she saw the officer and visas were granted for the two other girls (to be picked up later that day) Jamie joined us in the pickup and we headed back to the airport to wait for her next ride to Cazale. I was dropped off with her to keep her company while Barb went to check on her vehicle in the repair shop.

with Jamie Ivey

Jamie and I had the chance to chat and then when Zach from Cazale (Licia and Lori's dad) arrived I was able to meet him and he was super kind and gracious and even put two and two together about who I was and invited me out to Cazale next time. I hope I can go one day.

Lucian returned with the truck to pick me up, then we picked up Barbara (whose car had one problem fixed only for another to appear) and I was given the choice of checking in early or going out to lunch. I chose the latter and found myself alone with Barbara at the Visa Lodge lunch buffet. We had a good chat ... and a yummy meal of Haitian chicken, rice and beans, beet salad and even homemade flan for dessert. Afterwards we waited in the semi-shade for the truck to return and finally, hot and sweaty once again, I was deposited at the airport to fight off half a dozen baggage handlers and get checked in.

One particularly persistent guy ticked me off; he took my bags off the x-ray belt without my consent and put them on a cart from which I promptly removed them and told him I did not want help. Then he followed me all the way to Copa giving unsolicited "guidance" and all the way to security where he roughly demanded a tip. Not being in the mood for his shenanigans I sharply retorted, "No! I told you I did not want help and I am not giving you a tip!" He looked mad but I quickly moved on, bought Pedro's coffee and soon enough was on the plane headed to Panama.

Journal Entry: Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I'm writing these final entries in the Panama airport, right back where I started a week ago. It makes me sad to be here without my boys ... But I look forward to seeing the rest of my family tomorrow - it can't come soon enough.

Yesterday (Monday) Alec got sick with the fever. Right away Lawanna put him on antibiotics since we assume it's what all the other kids have had. He spent much of the day in Grandma's arms, especially since the boys staggered their naps so we had to "divide and conquer."

At lunchtime, we had tomato soup with torn-up grilled cheese soaked in for the babies. As if to make up for the previous day's tantrum, Ian refused to eat from Mom but ate the whole bowl happily for me.

Dinner was delicious - potatoes and sweet carrots and kielbasa. At the end of the meal, I presented the Chile gifts to everyone. They were a hit and Pedro's good taste was widely praised ... :)

We took our time getting the boys down for bed. Most of their toys had already been transferred to Lawanna's apartment but they made do with my comb and brush and ripping up tissues and fighting over the one remaining puzzle. It was bittersweet knowing this was the last time we'd put them to bed and we'd be leaving first thing in the morning.

Alec screamed when I put him in his crib, so I let him lay beside me until he fell asleep. He is such a skin-to-skin baby and kept pinching me and patting my tummy even in the dark. Ian chattered and hummed himself to sleep in his own cute way.

Several hours later when we were all in our own beds sleeping soundly, the generator was turned off. I could hear fans humming in the apartments where the inverters work, but ours lost all power. So commenced our last night in the village. Mom was concerned about the boys [and] heat exposure ... we were forced to open the door, slather on more Deet mosquito repellant, and then I set up a cot on the front porch both for cooler air and to stand guard at the entrance to our place (ours was the house nearest the main entrance, which is closed but not locked at night.) For the next five hours, Mom and I alternately dozed, chatted, checked on the boys, sat on the front step, and longed for morning. At least now I can tell my kids that I've been under the "Haitian moon and stars" just like in their book and I have to say the book is highly accurate, especially the sights and sounds and the people rising so early (some before 5 a.m. and most before 6 a.m.) to begin pulling water from the well and starting cooking fires and filling wash buckets for a new day's laundry.

I took the flashlight and slipped into Lawanna's apartment around 4 a.m. for drinks for us and the boys. At 5:30 a.m. Mom got bathed and returned to our dark house to dress. At 6:00 a.m. I slipped back into Lawanna's apartment to check Alec's temperature, which was 102.8. Just as I was leaving, the battery power went out and I praised God to hear the generator being turned on again! I had already gotten a fresh bucket of well water for our baths, so I gave Alec his medicine and went to get cleaned up myself.

We dressed the boys, zipped up suitcases, picked up the room and at 7:00 (Tuesday) deposited Ian and Alec in their high chairs in Lawanna's living room. She fed them while we finished final sweeping and garbage disposal in our house. A quick granola bar, teeth brushing and cold drink later, Barb was saying it was time to go and we had to quickly kiss the two sticky, crying boys goodbye and walk out the door one last time. I held back the tears even though it broke my heart to say goodbye ...

Journal Entry: Monday, October 12, 2009

As I am writing this I am alone with Ian in our hot little house. He is taking an overdue nap and I am melting as power troubles continue and no fans or electricity are on in here ... ahh, here it comes! ... and, there is goes ... (sigh)

Yesterday (Sunday) started a little later than normal, because it was a day off and the sun seemed to peek out at 6 a.m. rather than 5 a.m. We had breakfast (oatmeal) at Lawanna's, said goodbye to Mohrs and then Mom and I did a little "kids sing praise" time with some of the babies. During the boys' naptime, Mom stayed with them while I kept company with Lawanna and her babies and even had a chance to painstakingly search online a bit, update FB and the blog, etc.

Lunch was a hotdog and leftover mac & cheese, then we tried taking the boys to the ark only to be overcome by other kids wanting the ball and toys ...

[The evening was filled with] chaos and frustrations, as furniture was moved around and power problems surfaced ... without power, dinner was PB & J sandwiches and we basically closed ourselves in by 7:00 at night.

Around 1:30 this morning, Mom and I were awakened by a chirping/humming so loud that I pulled out the flashlight to make sure a frog or giant cricket wasn't in the room. I eventually fell back asleep but Mom says it continued for at least two more hours before she could do so. We were told it was probably a lizard - some lizard, I say!

P.S. While I was finishing this entry, Justin brought me Lawanna's phone with a call from Licia from the Rescue Center in Cazale ... She saw online that I would be here and wanted to try and say hi. That is so cool. I appreciate the down-to-earth, truly Christian focus of Licia and Lori and their ministry. Licia said Jamie Ivey's flight was cancelled and she'll be arriving tomorrow a.m. so Lord willing we'll actually get to meet! That will be great. :)

Basketball (video)

Unfortunately this video is a little dark, but it is still cute. I think it goes to show that the boys have great problem solving skills already!

Now if we could only solve the problem of getting them home ...

Our Boys & Friends (video)

Peek-a-boo (video)

I love Alec's laugh in this video ... This was taken at Wahoo Beach. I miss my boys!

Say Hi!

Thank you so much for your comments! I love "meeting" all of you - and reconnecting with those I know already. :) I am posting new entries below this one but keeping this at the top of my blog for a bit longer in case anyone else stops by!

---------------------

I interrupt my journal postings to say that I was amazed to realize that since my return from Haiti this little blog has been receiving over 130 visits a day. I don't think this necessarily means 130 separate people visit each day, and it may not be much to a big-name blogger, but it is rather a lot for me! :)

I would very much like to know who is stopping by, and I would especially love to know if you have an adoption story of your own. Please take a minute to say hi!

Sincerely,
Stephanie

Journal Entry: Sunday, October 11, 2009

Yesterday (Saturday) morning I was out on our front porch early (5 a.m.) like today, hoping to catch a breath of fresh air after a sweltering night. I was surprised to see a group of ladies returning from church at 6 a.m. - I guess that's one way to beat the heat at a church service!

Yesterday just seemed like a very, very long day (as I am writing this a little girl has sidled up to me and squeezed next to me on the porch to watch what I am doing.) Especially the afternoon seemed interminable. We alternated between having the boys at home, or walking over to Lawanna's. Lawanna's is cooler but gets so crowded when too many of us are there, and Ian and Alec can really get underfoot when people are milling about.

For breakfast Lawanna made some delicious omelets with the now-famous cheese and for lunch she made a delicious home mac-and-cheese and tomatoes with the same (Barb's recipe.) Unfortunately by lunch time I was feeling sick to my stomach ... I took one Cipro and later two Immodium which seemed to help somewhat. I didn't try to eat dinner but just drank a bottle of Coke instead.

At one point in the afternoon Mom and I took the boys to the ark where several kids were playing with toys. We handed out Tootsie Roll lollipops which were a great (and very messy!) hit with kids and adults alike.

Journal Entry: Saturday, October 10, 2009

Yesterday (Friday) morning started early with our usual rooster crowing and both boys awake before 6 a.m. We headed to Lawanna's around 7 a.m. and since most of the other American inhabitants of the village left on various errands around 9 a.m., Mom and/or I spent quite a bit of time at the apartment throughout the day. It gets a little chaotic there when too many of us visitors are there at once ...

At one point, Mom took the boys to our little house for a nap while I bathed and then spent a couple of hours helping Lawanna as best I could while Lacey was away.

For lunch yesterday, Lawanna doctored a big pot of rice from "Feed the Starving Children" and it was delicious - the boys loved it.

For dinner it was grilled cheese again, mostly because in a humorous miscommunication he will never live down, Lucian bought a whole block and a half of cheese (about $50 US dollars' worth) instead of just one-half of a block of cheese!

Mom and I headed home early while Justin set up his laptop in the ark so the kids could watch Spiderman after dark. Unfortunately it started to rain and I think the movie got cut short. Mom and I chatted long last night and one thing we chuckled about was what in the world the village kids with so little exposure to the outside world must think when they see Spiderman?? (And he's from the United States, where they are going to live??) LOL. :)

Journal Entry: Friday, October 9, 2009

Yesterday (Thursday) was a good day. Around 10:30 a.m. we loaded up two cars and headed to Wahoo Beach for the day ... It was a scenic drive, through small but crowded towns, along rutted dirt roads, and past paving crews in other parts. The lush green foliage of trees and fields and mountains and the glimpses of lagoons and the ocean were beautiful.

In one town, Barbara paused momentarily and purchased a locally-made type of peanut brittle for which the town is known. It was fabulous; softer than our peanut brittle but equally sweet and delicious.

Finally we reached Wahoo Beach, where sweaty clothes were peeled off and sticky swimsuits were peeled on ... I took first Ian out, then Maggie took Alec out, and we enjoyed swimming in the beautiful blue-green waters of the Caribbean. It truly did look like a tropical paradise, with the exception of small trash/debris that occasionally floated by. The water was barely cool, but not warm like bath water; the boys, especially Alec, seemed to love it. The waves were fun, splashing us with a gentle slap here and again, and always pulling us off to one side with the current. Maggie and I chatted at length about our adoption stories and at one point Barbara joined us as well. Meanwhile at the beach Mom was pestered by vendors wanting her to buy everything from jewelry to paintings, and she eventually gave in and ordered two hand-made bracelets with Eva and Isabel's names on it, thinking she was doing so for 10 Haitian dollars (about $1.25 US) when in reality it was 10 American dollars! But, the girls will love them.

... After lunch, we went to the swimming pool where I changed the boys into dry clothes in hopes they would nap on the poolside chairs. Instead they preferred to eat (and scatter) their snacks and watch the big kids perform their pool antics. For my part, I was overjoyed to stand under the cold outdoor shower and douse myself in running water for the first time in days. Our pool time was cut short by a tropical rainstorm and Lucian quickly arranged some umbrellas to keep Mom and the boys dry. She had to hold both on her lap because I was still wet, and although the boys picked at each other a bit they eventually wound down and sat sleepily with Mom-Mom.

When we headed home ... both boys fell asleep in our arms on the drive. When we reached the village we realized Ian had spiked a high fever of 102.8 and refused to drink anything. It had started to rain hard and cool off a bit, so I headed to our front step with Ian and Mom followed with Alec. No sooner had I said, "Be careful, it's slippery!" then Mom's feet slipped out from under her and she fell hard off the step ... twisting one foot under her. She was in a lot of pain, so once we got her stabilized I took Ian to Lawanna's for his meds and to get ice for Mom (which Maggie graciously took to her.) I splashed Ian down with cool water, gave him Motrin (most of which he spit out) and when the fever still didn't abate gave him some Tylenol as well ... Thankfully Ian stayed cool throughout the night and Mom's foot slowly started to feel less painful as she used it the next day.

Journal Entry: Thursday, October 8, 2009

The boys slept soundly our first night, even when at 2 a.m. Mom and I were woken by our fans turning off and we endured the next several hours sweltering in our airless sauna while trying to sleep and putting on Deet cream for the mosquitos that came calling when the air failed to keep them away ...

Yesterday (Wednesday) morning was spent mostly waiting for our turn in the clinic bathroom ... Mom and I chuckled about ... waiting for our turn to douse ourselves with well water from a bucket and perhaps flush the communal toilet with a "chorro" of water from the same!

Our meals are taken at Lawanna's and I've been able to observe many of the babies whose parents I know. It has been frustrating for me to be fighting a cold because I don't want to spread any more germs than the kids already have. The past couple of weeks have been filled with sickness ... Lacey is really a remarkable young woman and truly cares for and pours herself out for the kids. She keeps charts of who takes what meds, and when, and how much. She is much better at getting Ian to take his medicine than I am, and unfortunately since my arrival he has gotten sick with fever as well. It is scary and frustrating and I just long for my kids to be safely home.

Lacey with baby Bella

One (very) bright spot in the day was learning that the boys' MOI interview was completed a day early! Thank You, Lord.

Journal Entry: Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Yesterday (Tuesday) was an eventful day. I arrived at the PAP airport and collected my baggage, said my goodbyes and took a picture with my new Argentine friends, then sat down to wait for Mom's plane to arrive. It was interesting to see the place clear out and get swept up for the next batch of passengers while the airport personnel took a little breather and chatted and joked together. Mom soon arrived; I met her at the door and her luggage quickly appeared. We both took advantage of the last flushing toilet and running water we'd see for awhile. Meanwhile, we also caught up with Amanda and Stephen, a Kentucky couple adopting from New Life Link who arrived on Mom's same flight. Amanda and I had communicated through our blogs and I knew this was her first flight ever, her first time out of the country, and she was very nervous. Unfortunately she did not receive the reassurance she needed when their agency's driver did not appear to pick them up and all attempts to reach him by phone failed ... In the end, we drove them to the Visa Lodge and arrangements were made (via phone communication with a contact in the States) for another driver to pick them up there ...

with Amanda;
meeting fellow adoptive parents in person was one of the highlights of this trip

With that delay and with the crazy Haitian traffic of let's-play-chicken bus drivers and tap-taps and motorcyclists slowing nearly to a crawl (until someone decided a sidewalk could be a helpful detour) as well as a quick stop to converse wtih a woman on the side of the street and to buy some instant mashed potatoes and enormous bananas at the market, we finally made it to the village at dusk.

... Mom and I headed upstairs to Lawanna's apartment where the boys were waiting. There were so many people around that our reunion was a bit of a blur, but Ian was cheerful and smiley and Alec cried at being put down when moments later we headed downstairs to get our stuff situated.

Dinner was a grand affair with eight adults (at least) and nearly a dozen kids enjoying the first chicken the village had seen in weeks, which Lawanna deliciously fried and served with mashed potatoes, gravy, corn and cranberry sauce. Getting instructions and getting settled with the boys in our little house took some time and effort, and by night's end both Mom and I felt quite sick from the relentless heat. Even with two rotating fans and an overhead fan the first night, we were drenched in sweat and Mom felt dizzy and nauseous while I knelt on the floor fighting stomach cramps and crying out to God to keep us safe and healthy on this trip ...

Journal Entry: Tuesday, October 6, 2009

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I wrote a "book" in my journal throughout this trip to Haiti. I will be posting excerpts from those entries for the next few days.
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In Santiago, I was surprised when my name was called to the ticket counter at our departure gate for Panama. "We have a gift for you," the attendant said, and proceeded to change my seat to 2B - in first class! This has never happened to me before in my life, and a thrill of excitement made me whisper, "Is this You, Lord?" I felt as though God Himself was reassuring me that He was truly in this trip, and just to prove it He was going over and above by providing me this gift ...

I am sitting in the waiting area of Gate 33 at the airport in Panama. Our flight is scheduled to depart in just one hour, but the counter agents come and go and as usual there is a sense that time is not of the essence here. As I look around at the other waiting passengers, my attention drifts to the non-Haitian married couples and I can't help wondering if they are headed to Haiti for the same reason I am.

Before I even got a chance to finish writing that last sentence, a woman sitting with her husband across the way caught my eye and smiled, then came over to ask if I was Stephanie. She reads my blog and she and her husband are Argentines adopting from Bresma orphanage. They have four children at home and are adopting a 15-month old baby girl. This is their first visit to meet her, as they had to come sign for Judge Cadet according to the new ruling.

photo with Karina and her husband

Prior to conversing with Karina and her husband, I was listening to a couple of ladies chattering in Creole. I love the lilt of the language even though I cannot understand a word. In some ways Haitian culture is similar to Latin culture, with its energy and warmth. (More so Central American, I think.)

Going back to my conversation with my new Argentine friends, they asked me excitedly if it was true that I would be bringing my boys home on this trip. Oh how I long for that to be the case ...

Brothers

Alec

Ian

Processing

I am still processing this last trip to Haiti. Bear with me, and I promise to post more about it in the coming days. Right now Mom and I have agreed that the question, "So how was your trip?" is not a simple one to answer (especially without crying.)

I am thankful for your prayers which sustained us and which continue to bless and encourage us as we wait for the homecoming of our two precious boys.

Laughter

Boys Playing (video)

Leaving My Heart in Haiti

From Haiti

Internet access is very limited so I am writing a "book" in my journal; this trip has been a blessing but challenging in many ways as well. Even so, I am grateful for the company of my mom and her fortitude and servant's heart ... thankful for the hospitality of Barbara, Lawanna, Lacey and others with whom our paths have crossed ... overjoyed with our two precious little boys with their very different yet equally sweet and loveable personalities.

Ian has been sick with fever and diarrhea during much of our visit but seems to be on the mend today. Mom took a fall and has a bruised foot but we are thankful it was not worse and she is able to walk almost normally again. Many of the children are sick with just a variety of illnesses and so your prayers for their well-being and for the strength, wisdom and patience of their caregivers is much appreciated. Lawanna and Lacey have their organized lists and are dispensing medicine like a pair of trained nurses, doing a wonderful job as always.

At this moment, Mom is on nap duty with Ian and Alec back at our little house #11; they seem to enjoy three-hour naps just about every afternoon. I have Kennedy James at my knee and spent the past couple of hours holding Charlene; feeding Maki; and prior to that, Mom and I led a little kid sing with Sarah, Sophonise, Ian, Alec, Marie Grace, and whoever else was in earshot. The children are all so precious.

Thank you so much for your prayers ... please don't stop. The boys will not be coming home on this trip, but God has still moved mountains and we expect them home soon. No matter what we are reminded that God is good, all the time and we continue to praise and trust Him!

Will You Pray?

In less than 48 hours, I will be winging my way on the first leg of my journey to Port-au-Prince, Haiti.

The closer it gets, the more anxious I get. I have handed my anxiety to the Lord several times today as I review my lengthy lists and weigh my weighty suitcase (and then remove things and weigh it again!) but it is a moment by moment challenge.

I look forward to seeing my boys in Haiti. I don't look forward to kissing my kids and husband goodbye here in Chile.

Being that this is my third trip to Haiti, I feel somewhat more relaxed and somewhat more nervous. Relaxed because I feel safe at the orphanage and know more of what to expect than last time. Nervous because I know more of what to expect than last time, so I especially don't want to forget anything important (I can't exactly go to the corner store if I do!) But mostly nervous because I am facing the "moment of reckoning" when I learn what God has decided to do for us in response to our prayers for a miracle.

Will the boys come home? or won't they?? ... Will I react correctly? or will I crumble??

I would so appreciate your prayers for the four of us - my mom, the boys and me - on this trip. Please pray for Pedro, Eva, Isabel and Owen as they stay behind in Chile. Please pray for Ian and Alec - that they will remember me, feel comfortable with me and that bonding will take place between us. Please pray for health, as there has been a stomach virus in the orphanage recently. Please pray for flexibility and a positive attitude in a very hot climate and rustic living conditions. Please pray for the opportunity to be a blessing and encouragement to others. Please pray for protection on our flights and as we move about the city of Port-au-Prince.

Most of all, please continue to pray for a miracle ... asking God to supernaturally intervene on our behalf, touching hearts and spurring our paperwork on to completion so that our sons might be able to come home on this trip.

Will you pray? If so, would you mind leaving a comment on this post to let me know? That will be such a tremendous encouragement to us. Thank you so very much!

Alec & Friends

With Lacey

At the Creche

Our boys recently graduated into "daycare" at the nearby creche. This allows them time to run around and play in a bigger and safer area for a few hours while Lawanna gets a break from the "big boys" so she can focus on the little babies. A visiting mom took these pictures just last week. Thanks, Emma!

Lessons from Joshua

Yesterday I found myself in Joshua chapter 10 during my time of Bible study. It is a chapter that is both violent and victorious, horrifying yet full of hope. It is in a historical context that is often hard for me to wrap my mind around because of the terrible devastation of war. However, what spoke to my heart time and again was this: GOD fought for His people.

He confused the enemy.

He hurled hailstones from heaven against them.

He listened to Joshua's cry and made the sun and the moon stand still for an entire day. Verse 14 says, "There has never been a day like it before or since, a day when the LORD listened to a man. Surely the LORD was fighting for Israel!"

He gave Joshua victory in battle. In the course of one military campaign, Joshua and the Israelites subdued an entire region "because the LORD, the God of Israel, fought for Israel" (verse 42.)

I am no Joshua. My enemies are not physical ones but enemies of bureaucracy and apathy and even, I believe, enemies in the spiritual realm. But Joshua's God is my God. So I am asking Him to fight for me, to fight for my family and for my sons, today and throughout the coming days while I am in Haiti. My daily prayer has become: "Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief!"

Then Joshua said to them, “Do not be afraid, nor be dismayed; be strong and of good courage, for thus the LORD will do to all your enemies against whom you fight.” - Joshua 10:25

(Untitled)

A daily surrender is what I do need;
Moment by moment, God's Spirit to heed.
Father, forgive me and grant me Your grace
To keep on believing 'til I see Your face.

An impossible miracle is what I do ask;
Bringing them home is my greatest task.
Lord, only You can remove what impedes us!
Help me rely on Your Spirit who leads us.

God's written promise is what I do claim;
Time and again I cry out to His name.
For two who are prisoners of others' demands,
My children whose fate lies outside my own hands.

Hope, long-awaited, is what I do hold;
Lord, help my faith to grow and be bold.
Amaze us with wonders to bring our boys home,
And forever the glory will be all Your own!

-shg, 10/01/09