Soon it will be Ian's first birthday. Just a little over a month from now, on December 6, 2008 my son will turn one year old.
I will not be present at his birthday, just as I was not present for the day of his birth nor the months that followed as he struggled for simple survival.
As a mother, it is a hard thing to accept. I think about it often. I have longingly looked up airfares and imagined the possibility of flying to be with him on his special day, realizing that my presence might make no difference to him now - but believing that someday it would make a difference, this visible proof of how much Mommy and Daddy cared.
And we do care, so much ... which is why it hurts to know that this is one dream that won't be coming true. I only hope that in the quiet places of his little heart, Ian knows that this day is different and special because he is so special - special to us, and even more special to GOD ...
I will not be present at his birthday, just as I was not present for the day of his birth nor the months that followed as he struggled for simple survival.
As a mother, it is a hard thing to accept. I think about it often. I have longingly looked up airfares and imagined the possibility of flying to be with him on his special day, realizing that my presence might make no difference to him now - but believing that someday it would make a difference, this visible proof of how much Mommy and Daddy cared.
And we do care, so much ... which is why it hurts to know that this is one dream that won't be coming true. I only hope that in the quiet places of his little heart, Ian knows that this day is different and special because he is so special - special to us, and even more special to GOD ...
5 comments:
Oh Steph, I some how never processed that date in my head. He is one year almost exactly younger then Miss G. Her bday is 12/05. I sure will be thinking of your little guy on that date too!
We will pray for Ian and you all as that day approaches.
Oh Stephanie, My heart goes out to you and your family. You will be there for the rest of the birthday and you will make them count. We love you guys and will be praying for you. December 6 will always be in our hearts. Love you.
Praying for you all everyday! Being home without them on their birthday is so hard :(
Stephanie
Thanks for your Birthday wishes... THanks so much for the pictures you captured for us. We are truley grateful! emma
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