Unopened Dreams

This is a poem I wrote last year about the disappointment of another Christmas without the child that we had hoped would join our home by then. I don't know whether I have shared in full on here, but our journey to adopt a fourth child actually began towards the end of 2005. Over the course of these past three years, we have truly ridden the adoption rollercoaster!

We began by committing ourselves to an agency with an excellent adoption program (sincerely trying to meet the needs of birth parents and adoptive parents alike) but months later withdrew with significant financial loss after learning that they would refer for abortions as well. Subsequently we worked with a wonderful Christian agency (previously unknown to us, but one we would highly recommend due to the wonderful training they provide for their adoptive parents and the sensitivity they demonstrate towards birth parents) but the time for our departure for Chile arrived before another child did.

Upon arriving in Chile, we attended the required classes to begin a Chilean adoption but later were told that it would be highly unlikely for us to be able to adopt here (especially in Santiago, where foreigners do not receive priority and there are approximately 500 waiting Chilean couples.) Then, of course, God pointed us in the direction we least expected - to Haiti - and what a ride this has been!

This Christmas I am thankful that my future children (plural!) are no longer unknown; yet how I long for their homecoming. Nonetheless, I have been encouraged and edified through some wonderful adoption blogs this week to keep my focus not on how soon my boys come home, but on their coming home in God's perfect timing ... that I would learn the lessons He has for me during this time of waiting. Please pray for me in this regard. Anyone reading this blog realizes that this is truly a struggle for me, yet my desire is that God will be glorified through what He does in our lives and those of Ian and Alec.

Once again we will face "unopened dreams" this Christmastime, but we know and trust that the One who planted these dreams in our hearts will make them come true one day soon!

Unopened Dreams

I found a present still unopened,

Left over from last year.

Bought with such anticipation

When we thought that you’d be here.

Matching Christmas jammies

For your brother and for you …

Yours still wrapped and waiting,

While his are worn right through!

Countless prayers and paperwork,

Tears shed in despair -

Hours spent in searching,

Thinking I’d find you somewhere.

Close to home or far away,

The place just didn’t matter.

It was only you we wanted,

One more voice amidst childish chatter.

But months and days just passed us by,

Our hopes lost in another year.

Unopened dreams still left behind,

When we thought that you’d be here.

-shg 12.27.07