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Sunday, February 15, 2009

Another Date

I have another date to mention today.

I truly, truly, truly want to visit my boys in Haiti. When Pedro and I took the first trip last September to file our I-600, we did so thinking it would be our one and only trip before Ian and Alec came home. (Of course, this was back when we had been told there was a possibility of a 10-month timeframe and of our boys coming home in March.) But on our first trip we both looked at each other and said the same thing - we couldn't fall in love with our baby boys like this and see their needs and then walk away without planning to return as soon as possible. In the midst of those emotions, we knew we would do whatever was necessary for one or both of us to return.

However, our attention was unexpectedly and abruptly diverted practically the minute we arrived home from Haiti, with our three-year old son's femur fracture and the subsequent months of immobilization and follow-up. After that came our giant move 24+ hours across country. And now we face our children's insertion into a brand-new school in a brand-new language (Spanish), major transitions which we must take into consideration as I tentatively plan to travel again.

And of course there is the financial factor. Although we received the incredible blessing of a "paid in full" grant, this grant is not paid until after the adoption is complete. God has graciously provided until now through other gifted funds which were held in savings, but it is from these same funds that we pay monthly childcare fees for our boys (a little over $300 a month.) Not knowing how many more months lie ahead in this process makes it difficult to subtract the chunk of money needed for a Chile-Haiti trip while still having enough funds for monthly childcare payments (traveling from here to Haiti is more than twice the cost of flying between the US and Haiti.)

Having said that, I still feel as though I need to go. I feel that my sons need to see my face and hear my voice again so that when they finally do come home, we are not complete strangers to them. I feel that if I go, maybe my being there will somehow draw attention to the need for their files to move - because it often seems to me as though those parents who are able to travel most frequently to our orphanage see their children's files move most quickly. (Note: This is just my personal perception; it is not necessarily true.)

The dates I have researched which seem most affordable and most in keeping with our family's needs (allowing our kids at home three weeks or so to transition into their new school) would be March 23 (arriving in Haiti March 24) until April 1 (leaving Haiti March 31.) Pedro and I both have some apprehension about the trip, however, and I don't want to purchase tickets until we both are completely at peace about it. Please pray that God would make it perfectly clear to us whether this is what we are supposed to do or not. I very much want to go while LaWanna is still there with Ian, as I will be traveling alone and it would be so helpful to interact with someone who knows the orphanage community but also speaks English. I plan to stay at the orphanage rather than at a hotel because of the additional expense, so that will be an exciting yet challenging experience.

Perhaps mostly I am writing this for the sake of thinking it all through ... but I truly do appreciate your prayers, as we want to be sure we are doing what God wants us to do and not just what we want to do! Please pray that we would both have peace and clear direction (in the same direction, hopefully.) Thank you!


debra said...

praying peace to fall over you!

kdetter said...

it is good to think things will know when to go again.......thinking of you


Lena Wright said...

Praying with you and for you.