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Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Children Are a Gift

Psalm 127:3a "Behold, children are a gift from the Lord ..."

Today we received the following update from our adoption coordinator in Haiti. The bold emphasis is mine:

NO [your dossier] is not lost.

NO there is nothing wrong with the dossier.

Yes you have children and that is what is holding it up.

[Your lawyer] said it is done just waiting for that new paper to send it out.

Why is it that the Haitian government sees other children in the home as a detriment, rather than an asset, to the well-being of those children being adopted? As I follow the stories of families whose children arrive after spending months/years in an orphanage setting with so many other kids, I often reflect on what a comfort it must be for the newly adopted children to see other children's faces. Personally, I think it must add a sense of normalcy to an otherwise overwhelming time of crazy changes in their lives.

Also, why wouldn't the government find comfort in the fact that a family has already proven themselves with the children they currently have at home? Wouldn't they rather know that the children being adopted are going somewhere where parental wisdom has already been gained through experience? It just doesn't make sense to me, and sadly it reflects a mindset that doesn't see children as a gift from the Lord. Sometimes I wonder if they see the children at all. Are they just statistics, numbers in a dusty pile of dossiers spilling over on someone's desk somewhere? Can't they see their eyes, their faces, their need to finally have a family and home to call their own??

To give you an idea of how long the process has taken for our two boys in this one office alone, take a look at the pictures that grace the cover of their dossier:

Now take a look to the right of your screen and see what they look like currently, a full year after those pictures were taken. Pedro and I joke that I have the elephant beat by a long shot - her gestational period is only 22 months; we've been working on adopting a fourth child since late 2005, almost 4 long years (the last 17 months of which have been with Haiti.) Only the joke isn't so funny anymore ... it's just really sad.

The note said "... it is done just waiting for that new paper to send it out." What paper exactly? It sounds so promising, but one little paper can hold an adoption up for months in Haiti. My heart breaks for several families I can think of specifically whose adoptions have been near completion for so long except for a missing paper of some sort.

We - and so many other families like us - desperately need divine intervention to get our children home. We desperately need a miracle. This is our 11th month in IBESR, but some families have been in for 15 months and some have even been in for two entire years.

Children are a gift from God. Our children at home, and our children in Haiti. Please, Lord, make the powers that be recognize this fact. Please make them let our children go ...


Amanda said...

I'm sick over it myself today. Just physically ill.

Your precious boys look healthy, Stephanie. For that, I praise God along with you today, and even when our praises are but a whisper, God hears.

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord. What has held us this long? Certainly not my own strength or power. If He were not clearing each path for each day, I would have surely wilted and broken long ago.

Take comfort, dear friend, and I'll join you in prayer, albeit weary and weak.

Heather Marie said...

it is so hard to read, Stephanie, and yet makes me commit to praying even more!

love ya, friend, and holding you up more than ever!

alejandra said...

no se puede creer el tiempo q les esta llevando, y no, no tiene ninguna logica el criterio q utilizan p las adopciones! q mas se te puede muy doloroso q esten alla pudiendo estar c su "forever family" mimandolos sin parar!!!!!!!!!
un abrazo virtual

Carla said...

I wish the officials did look at them as precious children who need to go home to their families! Its been too long.

I am confused about the having other children rules too. I have three biological children and as such it basically rules us out for a lot of international adoptions. I just don't get it. I can pop out 12 of my own kids and no one would care but if I try to build a family through both adoption and biological children it is frowned upon by many countires. Its not as if there aren't plenty of children desperately needing homes or anything.

We'll keep praying for a miracle for you and your boys.