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Wednesday, April 28, 2010

I Need Advice

Update 4/30:
I found this timely article from Adoptive Families magazine in my inbox this morning:

When Food Becomes a Battleground

My formerly ravenous 2 1/2 year old (who was once filling out nicely but is now as skinny as ever) is suddenly refusing to eat half of the meals I serve, even those that he formerly adored, to the point of holding half-chewed food in his mouth for a very long time and/or spitting it all back out on his tray. It frustrates me very much because I know he NEEDS to gain weight. Any wise advice is much appreciated!


denie said...

just relax and make sure he's getting good vitamins. he'll get back to eating. if you stress about it, he'll balk. God is in control! ;) (from the mommy of a very picky eater)

sea salt MOSAIC said...

I don't have any "wise" advice, but wanted to let you know I'm praying for him and you guys. food issues can really try your patience at times and can be cause for worry. as long as he doesn't have something medically wrong that's causing this lapse, he'll eventually get hungry enough to eat what he's given.

Leah said...

Two words: ZERO ATTENTION for the behavior you don't want, TONS OF PRAISE For what you DO want. So when he takes a great bite, you have a mini party, and when he's sitting there doing nothing, NO ATTENTION. That includes eye contact. Eye contact is attention. He's totally playing you, because it's one area he has 100% control. LOL Seriously though, having a child who will do a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g. for attention, and having a lot of behavioral staff involved over the years, the number one thing I've learned is the "zero attention" thing. My husband has a hard time with it, but he's getting better. He sees the game now, and realizes when he's being played. He will not starve himself to death. He may always be a very slender boy! (I have two who we tease that if they stand sideways in the shower they won't get wet!) I bet a week of the zero attention for not eating and HUGE PRAISE when he does eat will bring changes. Oh, and if he has the skills to feed himself, DON'T try to do it for him. That's attention, and it will drive you batty because that's the reaction he's working for. If he doesn't have the skills to feed himself yet, then offer a bite and if he refuses just turn away. Don't say anything, or react in any way. Eventually he's going to get hungry. This is all to gear you up for potty training you know; the next big control issue! LOL

nancy49456 said...

My daughter started doing that also. It is very common for children from orphanages. My daughter actually had an oral motor issue and somethings were too much for her to chew. Even when she had them before. My doctor said don't worry when they don't eat and he was right.

Anonymous said...

We do the clean plate club at our house. If you finish your plate you are in the clean plate club and get a cherry or vanilla yogurt covered pretzel for dessert. My 2yr old loves it when he makes it into the club, about 4 times a week.