Transparency

[Edited to add: Erin, I appreciate your thoughtful comment. I know that blogging is not for everyone and I don't mean to suggest that we all have to share our stories in this way, just that the blogs I have read have been an encouragement for me not to feel so alone in the transition. I do think there are parts of all of our stories that need to be kept private for the sake of our kids and each family has to decide where to draw that line. Thanks for sharing your perspective! :) ]

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Lately I have appreciated reading some very transparent posts by moms who recently brought their children home from Haiti. As wonderful as it is to have our kids home, it would be untruthful to portray the adjustment as rosy all of the time. Simply because it is just that - an adjustment - both for the children themselves and for the families who have welcomed them home.

Life has altered in a huge way, changing the previous family dynamic and bringing with it communication challenges and frustrations that rise to the surface in different ways and at different times depending on the individual.

Right now, for instance, I hear my son Owen teasing and laughing with his little brothers in their bedroom. In fact, he even requested the opportunity to play with his brothers, which is huge these days. But it was only last week that his frustration boiled over with Alec and we had an all-out war between those two. And it was only a day or so ago that Owen, upset because he was corrected for something he did to his little brother, announced in anger: "I don't like Ian and Alec!"

Yet to be honest, most of the time I feel like we have it very easy compared to other families whose stories I am following. Our sons are young and have transitioned pretty comfortably into their new environment. But I would echo Debra's answer in her post below by saying that "Emotions" have been the hardest part of the adjustment for all of us. Even my husband acknowledges that he felt something akin to post-placement stress when the little boys come home (quite an admission from someone who doesn't talk about feelings much.)

And then there are the added stressors of starting back to school; earthquakes in the southern region of our country; and tsunami warnings here at home. As a result, we sometimes have crazy-meltdown-losing it kind of days and wonder where all of our previous parenting patience went (or whether we ever had it at all!) We often struggle to readjust our mentality to having two toddlers and the constraint that places on our time and schedules. We are still learning what it takes to balance five children at different ages and stages with different needs and challenges. We definitely are still in need of prayer as we continue to wade through all of these changes as a family.

So on the good days, it is a blessing to rejoice with others who are experiencing the same joys as we are. And on the bad days, it is also a blessing to know we are not alone! I so appreciate the posts below and am thankful for the transparency in them ... Please pray for many families just like ours still working through the sweetness and struggles of these amazing life changes.

http://debraparker.typepad.com/just_one_girl/2010/03/you-asked-i-answered-hardest-easiest-transition.html

http://dreamingbigdreams.net/?p=3817

http://kimrhodes.wordpress.com/2010/03/02/potholes/